An Ethiopian Easter

In an effort not to become closed and rigid I decided to celebrate Easter, untouched by God in 31 years I thought if I'm going to have an imaginary friend anywhere, Ethiopia would be the place. According to the Ethiopians this country was Christian before the Armenians, they believed in God before the Jews and the Zoroastrians because the Garden of Eden was in Ethiopia, Adam and Eve were Ethiopians. Apparently in Genesis the Garden of Eden is located at the source of the Nile, forget about Burundi, Uganda and all the competing claims, the source of the Blue Nile is in Ethiopia. The Ark of the Covenant is located in Ethiopia, in a Church I'm going to visit. The line of Ethiopian Kings to Haile Selassie, Ras Tafari, is descended from King Solomon, he tricked Queen Sheba into spending a night with him and their illegitimate child made their line. In addition to the mythology there is a scientific argument, the oldest human remains are located in Ethiopia, the missing link, Lucy, is Ethiopian and the Ethiopians look like no one else on earth. Case closed, forget about going back to Europe to find my roots, the only step back from here is to an amoeba.